Siman 390

An avel is forbidden from haircutting, as the Merciful One said to Aharon: "Do not let your heads grow wild" – from this we learn that an avel is forbidden from shaving (Moed Katan 14b), whether the hair of his head or the hair of the body, and even hair of the private areas, for the entire thirty days. Regarding hair on the lip and from the sides, anything that interferes with eating, there are various opinions on this as explained in the Tur (Tur Yoreh Deah 390), see there. And our teacher, the Beit Yosef, even though in his great work he inclined toward a prohibition for the entire thirty days, nevertheless in the Shulchan Aruch section 1 (Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 390:1) he ruled that within the seven days it is forbidden, but after the seven days it is permitted. And his reason appears to me to be because in the Yerushalmi of Moed Katan there, Rav said that the lip is like the trimming of nails. And it is likewise implied in our Gemara in Moed Katan (Moed Katan 17b), see there. And there (Moed Katan 18a) it is explained that nails and the lip are permitted on Chol HaMoed. And regarding nails, an avel is equal to Chol HaMoed, as will be explained. Therefore, granted that during the seven days it is forbidden, nevertheless during the thirty days it should be permitted just as on Chol HaMoed, and this is the opinion of the Ba'al HaHalachot Gedolot (see Beit Yosef).

A woman is permitted to remove hair after seven days, for so the Tur brought from Masekhet Semachot. And before us this is not found, for in our books much is missing there (and the Gra indeed emended it so in the seventh chapter). And this is the opinion of the Rif, but the Ramban holds that she is also forbidden like a man. Our teacher, the Rema, wrote in section 5 (Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 390:5) that this is the primary view, and that which we learned in Semachot is a different matter: regarding passing a comb in hidden places and applying lime, which is for the sake of adornment so that she does not become repulsive to her husband. But regarding actual haircutting—she is forbidden like a man (Tur). And to comb one's head with a comb—it is permitted even within seven days. For this is not a pleasure but rather great distress for one who has a mess on his head, or one accustomed to combing every day—it is impossible for him to endure without combing. And so our teachers, the authors of the Shulchan Aruch, decided in section 6 (Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 390:6).

If one sat down to shave, and they told him his father died—he may complete his shaving, for in the middle it is impossible to leave it so that he appears like one who is insane. And similarly, if they said to the barber "your father died"—he may finish his work, for what shall the one being shaved do if there is no one else to finish for him? Therefore, when there is another to finish—this one must cease from his work. And it is not specifically his father, for the same law applies to another deceased for whom he is obligated to mourn. And their mention of "his father" was for a greater novelty, that even so he may finish (and there are those who compare this to "one may not sit before the barber" in the first chapter of Shabbat, and it requires further study).

And all those whom the sages said are permitted to shave on Chol HaMoed, as I wrote in siman 389, section 8, if one of these occurred to them prior to the mourning, and they immediately entered into mourning – it is forbidden to shave. But if one of these occurred, and two mournings immediately followed him one after the other – he shaves in his usual manner, whether with a razor or with scissors, and even during the seven days. And another person whose mournings followed him one after the other – he lightens the hair of his head, and cuts from it a little with a change, with a razor or a knife, for with these it is impossible to shave properly in their cutting. But not with scissors, so that he does not shave properly with them (see Bach), only he should be careful to do this in private.

For all other deceased, one may shave after thirty days; for his father or his mother—until his companions rebuke him. So it is in the Gemara (Moed Katan 22b). And I saw one of the great authorities (Birkei Yosef) who wrote in the name of our teacher, Isaiah, that it is not the rebuke itself that permits it, but rather the duration of time sufficient for a rebuke permits it. And a festival does not avail if it occurs before his companions rebuke him (Tur). Our teacher, the Rema, wrote in section 4 (Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 390:4) that there is a dispute regarding the duration of the rebuke, and the custom is three months. And in these places, the custom is that one does not cut hair for a father or mother for the entire twelve months unless it is for a necessity, such as if his hair became heavy upon him, or if he goes among the ministers and appears repulsive among them with his hair, for then it is permitted to cut hair. Thus far his words. And before the time of the rebuke, this fact that he goes among the ministers does not avail (the Gaon Rabbi Akiva Eiger).

Just as it is forbidden to shave for the entire thirty days—so too it is forbidden to remove fingernails with a blade. However, with one's hands or with one's teeth it is permitted even within the seven, for this is removal in an atypical manner. And a woman whose immersion occurred within the thirty after the seven, if she removes her nails with her hands or with her teeth she will not remove them well, and therefore she should tell a gentile woman to remove them for her in the typical manner with a blade or with scissors. Our teacher, the Rema, wrote that this is not specific, for the same law applies by means of a Jewish woman, but rather he employed the familiar phrasing of Chol HaMoed. Thus far his words. And there is one who says that by means of a Jewish woman—it is forbidden (Shach, subsection 4). But some say that the primary view is that even by means of a Jewish woman it is permitted, and she is even permitted to remove them herself if she will remove them more beautifully (Taz, subsection 3). And it seems to me that such is the custom.