Siman 360

Our Rabbis taught: We move the corpse from before the bride (Ketubot 17a). If they encountered one another on the road – we advance the bride first. The Tur and the Shulchan Aruch wrote that the same law applies regarding advancement, that if there are not enough people in the city to give honor to both this one and that one – we advance and bring the bride under the chuppah first, and afterwards we bury the corpse. However, the Rambam in chapter fourteen, law 8, wrote: One who had before him a corpse and a bride – he leaves the bride and occupies himself with the corpse. And so it says: "The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning." A corpse and a bride that encountered one another on the road – we move the corpse from before the bride, and both of these from before the king. Thus far his words, for he holds that only regarding an encounter on the road does the honor of the living take precedence. But regarding occupation – the corpse takes precedence.

And there is proof for his words from that which was taught in Semachot (chapter 11): If a funeral procession and a wedding procession were coming and praising opposite one another, we move the deceased from before the bride because the honor of the living takes precedence, etc. Thus far his words. And there (chapter 12) it was taught: Thus the groups in Jerusalem used to do, these to the house of the mourner and these to the house of the feast, etc. To the house of the mourner and to the house of the feast, the house of the feast takes precedence, etc. But the early pious ones used to give precedence to the house of the mourner over the house of the feast, as it is said, "It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for that is the end of all man, and the living will lay it to his heart." Thus far his words. And this is support for the Rambam.

The approach of the Ramban is not so. For when is the house of the mourner prior? After she has entered the chuppah and they are making feasts. But before the entry into the chuppah—the bride is prior. And this is the approach of the Tur and the Shulchan Aruch, and this is their wording: But after she has entered the chuppah, and he has before him to comfort a mourner and to gladden a groom—the comforting of the mourner is prior. And similarly, the havra'ah of the mourner is prior to the feast of a groom. In what case are these things said? When he has sufficient means for both of them. But if he does not have sufficient means for both of them—the feast of the groom is prior. Thus far his words, meaning: even though after the chuppah the deceased is prior, this is to give him precedence. But if one of them must necessarily be canceled, such as when there is not sufficient means for this and for that—the honor of the groom and the bride is prior to the deceased and his mourners. (See Beit Yosef and the Gra. And their version in Semachot is different from our version.)

A groom and a mourner in the beit knesset – the groom exits with his groomsmen first, and afterward the mourner and the comforters. And so too their guests eat with the groom when they wish and not with the mourner. And if they wish – they eat with the mourner. And a deceased person and a milah – milah takes precedence, for there is nothing greater than the mitzvah of milah, upon which thirteen covenants were sealed. And if there is a met mitzvah, it takes precedence over all things: over milah, and over a bride, etc.