Siman 493

These days between Pesach and Atzeret have been held by all of Israel for many hundreds of years as days of judgment and days of mourning, because during this short time twelve thousand pairs of Torah scholars, the students of Rabbi Akiva, died, as is found in Yevamot (62b), and they all died by the death of askara (ibid.). Furthermore: we have seen that the primary days of the decrees in past centuries in France and Germany were during these days, as is clear from the liturgical poems that our predecessors composed for these Shabbats between Pesach and Atzeret. And they are full of lamentations, moaning, and woe. And there are additional reasons for these days being days of judgment (see Chayei Adam, subsection 3).

Therefore, all Israel have been accustomed since the days of the Geonim not to marry a woman between Pesach and Atzeret. And they did not distinguish between a marriage of mitzvah, such as one who has not yet fulfilled "be fruitful and multiply," or not. And even though in complete mourning there are distinctions, nevertheless here they were stringent upon themselves. And nevertheless, one who jumped and married – we do not punish him, since he performed a mitzvah. And all the more so when he saw that the match could be cancelled. But to betroth and to sanctify – it is well. And so too among us, to make matches and to write tana'im – it is permitted, lest another precede him. And it is permitted to make a feast, but not with dancing and circles. And all the more so it is forbidden to play musical instruments. And so too a discretionary feast is permitted, such as feasts of companionship, provided it is without dancing and circles.

And so they practiced in these lands, not to cut hair during these days, and it is also a matter of mourning. And one who cut his hair—they penalize him for having violated the custom and not performing a mitzvah. And it is obvious that if he needs to cut his hair for his health, it is permitted. And so too, when there is a milah during these days, the ba'alei habrit—namely the mohel, the sandak, and the father of the son—are permitted to cut their hair on the day before the milah close to evening, because it is their yom tov.

And know that there are different customs regarding this matter: There are those who practiced the prohibition immediately after Pesach until Lag BaOmer, and from then onward marriage and haircutting are permitted, because it is found in the Midrash that fifteen days before Shavuot they ceased dying, and thirty-four days remained (Bach). And it would have been proper by law to practice the prohibition until the thirty-fifth day of the Omer, but we say a part of the day is like the whole of it, and it is permitted on the thirty-fourth day and not before. This is the approach of our teacher, the Beit Yosef, who wrote: It is customary not to cut hair until the thirty-third day of the Omer, for they say that then they ceased dying. And one should not cut hair until the morning of the thirty-fourth day, unless the thirty-third day falls on the eve of Shabbat, in which case they cut hair on it for the sake of the honor of Shabbat. Thus far his words. And he wrote in section 3: There are those who are accustomed to cut hair on Rosh Chodesh Iyar, and it is an error in their hands. Thus far his words; that is to say: according to this custom that after Lag BaOmer it is permitted—if so, the prohibition begins immediately after Pesach, because they died during the thirty-four days after Pesach. And if so, how can they cut hair on Rosh Chodesh Iyar, for it would be a contradiction. And that which he mentioned regarding haircutting—the same law applies to marriage, for it is one and the same matter.

And there is another custom that the prohibition continues also after Lag BaOmer until Atzeret, or until the three days of Hagbalah. For according to the plain meaning of the Gemara in Yevamot ibid., their death continued until Atzeret; and only on Lag BaOmer itself is marriage and haircutting permitted, because it is established for us as a festive day, and we increase somewhat in meals, and they say that on this day they did not die at all, and afterward they returned and died. And furthermore: that it is for a sign that they died for thirty-three days. And the days begin from the second day of Rosh Chodesh Iyar, and continue until Atzeret. And Lag BaOmer itself is also included in the count, even though they did not die on this day.

And according to this custom, it is the practice to permit until Rosh Chodesh Iyar. And the prohibition begins from the first day of Rosh Chodesh Iyar, and continues until the first day of the three days of hagbalah, and a part of the day is like the whole of it. Therefore, according to this custom, until Rosh Chodesh Iyar it is permitted, and also on Lag BaOmer itself, and likewise during the three days of hagbalah. And all the other days are forbidden. And such is our custom. And if Lag BaOmer falls on Sunday, one may get a haircut on the preceding Friday, for the honor of the Shabbat.

And these are the words of our teacher, the Rema, who wrote in section 3: However, in many places they are accustomed to cut hair until Rosh Chodesh Iyar, and those should not cut hair from Lag BaOmer onwards, even though it is permitted to cut hair on Lag BaOmer itself. And those places that are accustomed to cut hair from Lag BaOmer onwards – they shall not cut hair at all after Pesach until Lag BaOmer. Thus far his words. And that which he wrote in section 1: However, from Lag BaOmer onwards everything is permitted, thus far his words – this is according to this custom that they cut hair from Lag BaOmer onwards, and do not cut hair until Rosh Chodesh Iyar. And this is the custom of our teacher, the Beit Yosef, but not for us. And that which he wrote in section 2 regarding the words of our teacher, the Beit Yosef, that they do not cut hair on Lag BaOmer but rather on the thirty-fourth, he wrote and this is his wording: and in these provinces we do not practice according to his words, but rather we cut hair on the day of the thirty-third and increase a bit of joy on it. And we do not say Tachanun on it. Thus far his words, and his intention is that regarding the matter of Lag BaOmer itself – in every place they are accustomed to permit it, whether according to the custom of our teacher, the Beit Yosef, or according to our custom, because they hold this day to be a bit of a Yom Tov, and also at the Mincha before it. And they are accustomed to call it the "Hillula of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai," and in Eretz Yisrael they increase in prayer and in the lighting of candles on his holy grave. And they say that he passed away on this day, and also emerged from the cave on this day. (And the Magen Avraham, subsection 3, and the Ateret Zekenim wrote that a certain great man was accustomed to say "Nachem" every day, and he said it on Lag BaOmer and was punished. See there.)

Our teacher, the Rema, wrote that they should not practice in one city part of this custom and part of that custom, because of "do not cut yourselves." And all the more so one should not practice the leniency of both of them. Thus far his words. For one should not seize the leniency of this custom to permit until Rosh Chodesh Iyar, and the leniency of that one to permit from Lag BaOmer and onward, as this would be two contradictory positions. And it appears to me regarding his intention that even though at the end of the first chapter of Yevamot we say that regarding two beit dins in one city "do not cut yourselves" does not apply, and such is the conclusion of the Shas there according to Rava; and it is true that the Rambam, of blessed memory, at the end of the Laws of Idolatry ruled that there is "do not cut yourselves" in this case like Abaye there in Yevamot, but they have already wondered at his words for ruling like Abaye and not like Rava; however, we have reconciled his words in Yoreh Deah at the end of siman 180, see there. And this is the matter: for Rava rejected Abaye's view, that in matters of rulings of forbidden and permitted one does not need the verse of "do not cut yourselves," for from the verse of "follow the majority" we know that one must rule according to the opinion of the many. And if so, according to Rava, why is the verse of "do not cut yourselves" needed for one beit din in one city? Rather, Rava truly came to reject Abaye's view, and thus he rejected it: that in matters of rulings one does not need "do not cut yourselves," for regarding two beit dins in one city "do not cut yourselves" does not apply, and regarding one beit din we know it from the verse of "follow the majority." Rather, the essence of the verse of "do not cut yourselves" is regarding general customs, and in this it is forbidden even in two beit dins in one city. For in this, beit dins are not relevant, for granted that in a ruling the matter is not handed over to the masses, but in a general custom where these do thus and those do thus, even if the matter emerged from two beit dins—nevertheless the matter is unseemly, that it should appear that Israel in one city are divided into factions. And these are the very words of our teacher, the Rema, that they should not practice in one city part of this custom and part of another custom, even when the matter emerges from two beit dins. And this is also the intention of the Rambam, as I wrote there. And the minority is drawn after the majority (Magen Avraham, see there).

Our teacher, the Beit Yosef, wrote in section 4: Women are accustomed not to perform work from Pesach until Atzeret, from sunset onwards. Thus far his words, in memory of the righteous women who lived in the days of Rabbi Akiva who preceded his students to involve themselves with them (Eliyah Rabbah, subsection 11, in the name of the Tanya). And there are those who wrote that men also should not perform work during this time (ibid. in the name of the Knesset HaGedolah). And it is also implied from the wording of the Tur, except that he also concluded that the women are accustomed not to perform work, meaning: that the custom was for everyone because the students died after sunset, but only the women accepted this custom upon themselves. And even they did not refrain from work except from after sunset until after the Maariv prayer after the counting. And there is an allusion to this: "And you shall count... seven weeks [shabbatot]," a language of "resting [shevut] from work" (Tur). And even now there are women who follow this custom.