Siman 403

It is stated in the Yerushalmi, the third chapter of Moed Katan (Halacha 5): Initially they would bury him in pits, meaning in excavations. Once the flesh decomposed—they would gather the bones and bury him in coffins. That day he would mourn, and the next day he would rejoice that his ancestors were saved from judgment, see there. For as long as the flesh exists—they are judged. Therefore, one who gathers the bones of his father or of other relatives for whom he is obligated to mourn—observes mourning throughout that entire day, according to all the laws of mourning that apply to a mourner: overturning the bed, wrapping the head, wearing sandals, marital relations, and washing and anointing. And some say that he does not mourn according to the laws of mourning but rather is an onen, and is forbidden from eating sacrificial meats (Nimukei Yosef, first chapter). But all the poskim did not write so. Likewise, there is one who says that as long as they have not been buried—the law of an onen applies to him, and after it is buried, mourning takes effect upon him for the whole day. The Rosh rejected this, and so we maintain that the law of aninut does not apply to him at all, only mourning takes effect upon him immediately until evening.

And in the evening one does not mourn for them even if he has not yet buried them, but rather they are tied up for him in his sheet. And conversely, all day he mourns even if he did not gather them, and did not see them except tied up for him in his sheet (Rashi, Moed Katan 8a). Therefore, if he was standing and gathering them and it became dark for him—it is permitted at night, and certainly on the following day. Consequently, one does not gather them close to nightfall, so that it should not be found that he did not mourn over the gathering of his father's bones. Thus wrote the Tur and the Shulchan Aruch. And one must be precise that specifically regarding his father and his mother one should not do so, but regarding other relatives it is permitted. And he is also obligated to rend, and for anyone for whom one rends at the time of his death—one rends for him at the time of the gathering of bones. And for anyone for whom one does not rend at the time of his death—one does not rend for him at the time of the gathering of his bones. And it has already been explained in the previous siman that for anyone for whom it is not necessary to rend—it is forbidden to rend because of "bal tashchit."

A kohen is forbidden to gather the bones of his father and mother, for he is forbidden to contract tumah for them when the body is not whole (Shach and Derishah), as I have written in siman 373. And one may not gather bones on Chol HaMoed, for on Chol HaMoed it is forbidden to mourn. And likewise, there is a law of "report" regarding the gathering of bones: if one heard that today they gathered the bones of one of his relatives for whom he is obligated to mourn, even though he was not there—he mourns for them. But if he heard that they gathered them yesterday—he does not mourn for them, and it is called a "distant report" regarding this matter.

One does not stand in the shurah for the gathering of bones, but one offers condolences to them privately. And one does not provide the meal of recovery for them in a gathering of the city, that is to say, in public, but one provides the meal of recovery for them in his home. And one does not recite a lamentation or a wailing over them, but one recites praises, that is, of the deceased, and one praises the Holy One, Blessed be He, who brings death and restores life. And one does not dismantle the bones by hand, nor does one sever the sinews because of the disgrace, unless they were dismantled on their own or severed on their own. And know that the gathering of bones is only after the flesh has decomposed, for when the flesh has decomposed, the form is not recognizable in the bones. Therefore, one may gather the bones of his father and mother with his hands, and nevertheless, it is proper that he should not gather them himself, but others should gather them so they are not disgraced by him, as is proven from the incident of Rabbi Eliezer son of Rabbi Tzadok which will be explained nearby. And regarding the matter of mourning, there is no difference whether the flesh has decomposed or has not decomposed (Shach).

A person may gather the bones of two deceased individuals at once (provided that he does not mix them with one another), at one end of a basket here and at the other end of a basket there (this is a type of vessel), these are the words of Rabbi Yochanan ben Nuri. Rabbi Eliezer says: Eventually the basket will decompose, and eventually the bones will decompose, and it will be found that the bones of two deceased individuals are mixed. Rather, he gathers them and places each one by itself in a cedar coffin. Rabbi Eliezer bar Rabbi Tzadok said, thus my father said to me: At the time of my death, initially bury me in a valley, and ultimately gather my bones and place them in cedar. And you yourself shall not gather them with your hands, so that they shall not be contemptible to you. (Semachot chapter twelve. And it requires further study how it would be possible for him to gather them himself, for behold he was a kohen, unless this is not the Rabbi Eliezer bar Rabbi Tzadok mentioned throughout the Shas.)

When one evacuates graves to bury them in another place, anyone who knows that today they will evacuate the grave of one of his relatives must observe mourning that day. And know that according to what has been explained, every set of bones from one body requires a grave for itself, and this is among the impossibilities. Therefore, one of the great authorities wrote that they may place many bodies in one casket, provided that each one is placed by itself. And it is good to make some slight partition between them (Chatam Sofer siman 353).

One who gathers bones, and one who guards the deceased, and one who transports them from place to place—is exempt from the recitation of Shema, and from prayer, and from tefillin, and from all mitzvot mentioned in the Torah, whether on a weekday or on Shabbat (gathering is not applicable on Shabbat). It makes no difference whether they are the bones of relatives or the bones of strangers, whether he is on a ship or on the road, and even if they are many gatherers. And if he wished to be stringent upon himself—he may not be stringent, because of the honor of the bones. However, when two are guarding the deceased or the bones—this one guards and this one recites, as I wrote in Orach Chaim siman 71. And one who transports bones from place to place—he should not place them in a sack or in a saddlebag and place them upon the donkey and ride upon them, because he is acting toward them in a manner of disgrace. Rather, when he places them in a sack or in a saddlebag—he slings them behind him, and he sits upon the donkey. And so too when he sits in a wagon—he should not sit upon the bones, but rather places them in the wagon to the side. However, if he was afraid of thieves and bandits—it is permitted to sit upon them, since he does this for their honor. And everything is according to the matter.

It was taught in a baraita, Rabbi Meir used to say: It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for that is the end of all man. And the living shall lay it to his heart—matters of death, for one who eulogizes others, they will eulogize him; one who buries, they will bury him; one who raises his voice to weep, they will raise their voices for him. Rabbi Meir used to say: Great is peace, for the Holy One, Blessed be He, did not create a quality more beautiful than peace, which was given to the righteous. For at the time a person departs from the world, three groups of ministering angels greet him with peace. The first says: "He shall enter in peace." And the second says: "They shall rest in their beds." And the third says: "Each one who walked in his uprightness." And it is not enough for the righteous that their death is by the hand of the Glory, as it is said: "And the glory of the Lord shall gather you," but they praise before him: "Let peace come, let peace come!" (Tur). And it is brought in the Gemara (Moed Katan 29a): Rabbi Levi bar Chama said: One who departs from his fellow should not say to him "Go in peace" but rather "Go to peace." However, one who departs from the deceased should say to him "Go in peace," as it is said: "And you shall come to your fathers in peace" (see Nimukei Yosef). He will swallow up death forever, and the Lord G-d will wipe away tears from all faces. Amen. Completed are the laws of mourning and the entire Yoreh Deah with the help of Heaven.