Siman 383

A mourner is prohibited from marital relations. Similarly, a female mourner, even if the husband is not a mourner – he is prohibited from cohabiting with her all seven days of mourning. And it is stated in the Gemara (Moed Katan 24a): It happened that one person cohabited during his days of mourning, and pigs dragged away his corpse. And even on Shabbat, when mourning is not practiced – it is prohibited, for matters of privacy are practiced. Similarly, one whose relative died on a festival – he is prohibited from marital relations all the days of the festival, and also the six days after the festival in which he practices mourning. And conversely, one who buries his dead one hour before a festival, such that the festival cancels the decree of seven for him – he is permitted marital relations on this night. And know that there is no prohibition for a husband to cohabit with his wife who is a mourner except when she knows of her mourning. But if her father or mother or brother or sister died in another place, and she does not know of this, even if the husband knows – he is permitted to cohabit with her.

And only tashmish hamitah alone is forbidden. But other forms of closeness between a man and his wife are permitted, such as pouring the cup, and making the bed, and washing his face, hands, and feet according to their custom at that time. However, hugging and kissing must be forbidden, so as not to come to the point of habitual behavior. And regarding this it is said: "A time to refrain from embracing," and so the Targum explained there, see there. And she is permitted to eat with him from a bowl, and she is permitted to sleep with him, he in his garment and she in her garments. Nevertheless, because of "go, go, we say to the nazir," one should be stringent that he should not sleep with her in a bed at all.

And that which is permitted regarding yichud and other forms of closeness applies to other types of mourning. However, in the case of the death of the groom's father or the bride's mother before the chuppah, as was explained in siman 344, where they bring the deceased into a room and the groom and the bride to the chuppah, and he performs the sexual act of the mitzvah and separates—it is forbidden to be in yichud with her for the entire fourteen days. As I wrote there, during that entire time he sleeps among the men and she sleeps among the women. And this is when the chuppah was before the burial. But if he brought her into the chuppah and his days of feasting began, and afterwards a relative of his or hers died—it is permitted to be in yichud with her as with other types of mourning. And specifically when he has performed the sexual act once, for when he has not performed the sexual act at all—it is forbidden to be in yichud with her all the days of mourning, whether on a weekday or on Shabbat, for as long as he has not performed the sexual act, the inclination is very strong. And it is like when she became a niddah before he performed the sexual act, where they are forbidden in yichud for this reason, as I wrote in siman 192, see there.