Siman 156

Afterward, he should go to his business. For all Torah that is not accompanied by labor will in the end be nullified and lead to sin, as poverty causes a person to transgress his own mind and the mind of his Creator. And for one who has a craft, it is a good thing. And thus our sages, of blessed memory, said in Kiddushin (29a) that a man is obligated to teach his son a craft, and anyone who does not teach him a craft—it is as if he teaches him banditry. And how many err in this, saying that a craft is a matter of disgrace, for behold, how many Tannaim and Amoraim were laborers. And it is found in Midrash Rabbah Bereishit (Parashah 74): Labor is more beloved than the merit of the fathers, for the merit of the fathers saved property, but labor saved lives, as it is said: "Unless the God of my father, the God of Abraham... surely now you would have sent me away empty-handed; God saw my affliction and the labor of my hands and rebuked you last night." That is to say: that Laban did not kill Jacob when he encountered him. And it is a great virtue for one who sustains himself from the work of his hands, as it is said: "When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you." You shall be happy in this world, and it shall be well with you in the World to Come, which is entirely good.

Nevertheless, one should not make his work primary and his Torah secondary. Rather, he should make his Torah fixed and his work secondary, and both will be sustained in his hand. And it appears to me that this refers to a talmid chacham whose primary occupation is in Torah, as is explained in Yoreh Deah siman 246. But regarding an ordinary baal bayit—this does not apply. And upon an ordinary baal bayit there is no obligation imposed except to fix times for Torah, and those they ask on the Day of Judgment: "Did you fix times for Torah?" For regarding a talmid chacham whose primary occupation is in Torah, it is not relevant to say "Did you fix times," for behold the obligation is upon him to study always, all day and all night, aside from what is necessary for his livelihood, and as I have written in Yoreh Deah ibid.

"Dealing in good faith" – the intention is not that he should not steal or rob, or use false measures and weights; for these matters do not enter into this category, as one who does so is a complete rasha. And it is forbidden to steal or to rob or to defraud, whether a Jew or a non-Jew. And from the Torah, one violates a negative commandment regarding the theft or robbery of a non-Jew just as for a Jew, as the Rambam wrote in the first chapter of Gneivah, and in the Tur and Shulchan Aruch Choshen Mishpat siman 348. Rather, the intention is that his "yes" should be righteous, and his "no" should be righteous. And when he says that this merchandise costs him such-and-thousand, and that it is good – he shall not lie even in the slightest. And his dealings should be pleasant with people and his speech pleasant, and he shall not shout nor revile nor become angry. And the end of the matter is that his business also proceeds with a good name and his livelihood is prepared for him, and everyone trusts him. And he who trusts in Hashem, kindness shall encompass him.

From the fence of conducting business in good faith is that he should not swear, neither a light oath nor a severe oath, until he is established among all by his word alone. And he should be very careful not to mention the Name of Heaven in vain, for in any place where the mention of the Name is found for no purpose—death is found. And he should be careful not to swear even to the truth. King Yannai had a thousand cities, and all of them were destroyed because of the sin of a true oath, as they were very accustomed to it (Midrash Eikhah). And he should be careful not to enter into a partnership with an Arab, lest he become liable to him for an oath and he swears by his oath, and he violates "it shall not be heard upon your mouth." And there are those who are lenient in this time because they do not swear by the stars; for their intent is toward the Maker of heaven and earth, except that they associate the Name of Heaven and something else. And we have not found that there is in this a violation of "and before a blind person do not place a stumbling block," for they are not warned against association regarding an oath. And to conduct business with them without a partnership—according to everyone it is permitted outside of their festival days. And these laws were explained in Yoreh Deah siman 147 and 148, see there.

The temperaments of men and their traits differ from one another. There is one who is prone to anger, and there is one who is soft-hearted. There is one who is prideful, and there is one whose mind is humble. There is one who is cruel, and there is one who is merciful. There is one who is a miser, and there is one who is a spendthrift. The straight path is to grasp the middle trait, for the extremes are not good. Only regarding pride is it proper to distance oneself until the furthest extreme, because it is very loathsome. And regarding this we learned in Avot: "Be exceedingly humble of spirit." And let a man not say: "What can I do since this is his nature?" For behold, a man is compelled by his intellect to overcome his nature, and this is the entire duty of the Israelite man. And the sages said: "A person should always incite the good inclination against the evil inclination." And it is written: "And you shall walk in His ways" – just as He is merciful, so too you should be merciful; just as He is gracious, so too you should be gracious. And he should accustom his nature to the path of the Torah and the mitzvah. And he should increase silence, and not speak except for words of Torah and words of mitzvah, and for the needs of his business and necessary matters.

It is a positive commandment to cleave to the sages and their students in order to learn from their deeds. Regarding this it is stated: "And to Him you shall cleave," for anyone who cleaves to the sages, it is as if he cleaves to the Shekhinah. Therefore, a person must strive to marry the daughter of a talmid chakham, and to marry off his daughter to a talmid chakham, and to eat and drink with a talmid chakham, and to conduct business for a talmid chakham (Ketubot 111b). And so they said in Avot: And be one who powders himself in the dust of their feet, and be one who drinks their words with thirst.

It is a mitzvah to love every member of Israel as one's own body, as it is said: "And you shall love your fellow as yourself." Therefore, one must speak in his praise and be sparing of his money, just as he desires his own honor and is sparing of his own money. And one who gains honor through the disgrace of his fellow has no portion in the World to Come (the Rambam, Laws of Character Traits, chapter six). But the intention is not that he should love him as his own soul and share his money with him, for this is not written regarding this matter at all. For this verse is written near the prohibitions of "do not go as a talebearer," "do not hate," "do not take revenge and do not bear a grudge" — learn from this that the command is not to do him harm, and in a matter where there is no loss of money (it seems to me). And a wicked person who does not accept rebuke — it is a mitzvah to hate him. And regarding him David said: "Do I not hate those who hate You, Hashem?" (Hagahot Maimoniyot ibid.). (And the Arizal, of blessed memory, wrote to accept before the prayer the positive mitzvah of "And you shall love your fellow as yourself.")

The love of the ger (in ancient times) who came and entered under the wings of the Shekhinah, involves two positive commandments: one because he is included in "neighbors," and one because he is a ger, as it is said: "And you shall love the ger." And anyone who hates one of Israel violates a negative commandment, as it is said: "You shall not hate your brother in your heart." And one does not receive lashes for this negative commandment, because it does not involve an action. And when a man sins against a man – he should not harbor hatred for him and remain silent, but rather he says to him: "Why did you do such and such to me?" And regarding this it is said (ibid.): "You shall surely rebuke your fellow." And if he repented and asked him for forgiveness, he must forgive him. And he should not be cruel, as it is said: "And Abraham prayed to God...". And even though Abimelech did him evil for naught, nevertheless he forgave him, and not only that, but he prayed on his behalf. And therefore we, his children, must take hold of the traits of our elderly father.

One who sees his fellow who has sinned, or who is walking in a path that is not good—it is a mitzvah to return him to the good, and to inform him that he is sinning, as it is said: "You shall surely rebuke your fellow." And one must rebuke him privately, and speak to him calmly and in soft language. If he accepts it from him—it is well, and if not—he must rebuke him a second and third time. And so, one is always obligated to rebuke him until he scolds him (Sefer Mitzvot Gadol and according to Rabbi Yochanan in Arachin 17b). The Rambam in the sixth chapter of De'ot ruled until striking (according to Rav ibid.). And anyone who is able to protest against him, and does not protest—he is held accountable for those against whom he could have protested. And even if he has a doubt whether they will accept his words—he must rebuke them. But if he knows with certainty that they will not accept his words—he is exempt from rebuking them, and it is better that he remain silent. This is the wording of the Sefer Mitzvot Gadol, positive commandment 11: And if it is clear to the rebuker that they will not accept it from him, and the transgressors are unintentional—it is better for him to remain silent, as we say (Beitzah 30a)... Leave Israel alone, it is better that they be unintentional... But if the transgressors are intentional, and it is clear to him that they will not accept it, even though he is exempt from punishment..., nevertheless, from the positive commandment of "You shall surely rebuke" he is not exempt... And I say that even with intentional transgressors one must remain silent, as we say in Yevamot (65b): Just as it is an obligation upon a person to say a matter that will be heard—so it is an obligation not to say a matter that will not be heard, as it is said: "Do not rebuke a scorner lest he hate you." Thus far the wording of the Sefer Mitzvot Gadol, and the first opinion is the opinion of our teacher Eliezer of Metz in Sefer Yereim. And certainly now, when due to our many sins heresy has increased, rebuke is not applicable at all. And one should not debate with a Jewish heretic for he will become more heretical, as their statement, of blessed memory, in Sanhedrin (38b).

One who rebukes his fellow—he should not speak to him harshly until he shames him, as it is said: "and do not bear a sin because of him." Thus the sages said: Is it possible that you may rebuke him even if his face changes color? The verse teaches: "and do not bear a sin because of him"—from here we learn that it is forbidden for a person to shame a Jew, and all the more so in public. And even though one does not receive lashes for this negative commandment, it is a great sin. And thus the sages said (Sanhedrin 107a): One who whitens the face of his fellow in public has no portion in the World to Come. Therefore, one must be careful not to shame the face of any person in public, whether great or small, and he should not call him by a name that he is ashamed of even when he is accustomed to it (Bava Metzia 58b). And for this sin they descend to Gehinnom and do not ascend (ibid.). In what matters are these words said? In matters between a man and his fellow. But in matters of Heaven, if he did not repent in private—they shame him openly, and publicize him and reproach him to his face, and despise him and curse him until he returns to the good path, in the manner that all the prophets did with Israel.

And one whose fellow sinned against him, and he did not wish to rebuke him nor to speak to him at all, because the sinner was a very common person or his mind was confused, and he forgave him in his heart and did not hate him and did not rebuke him – behold, this is a measure of piety. The Torah was only particular regarding hatred. Thus the Rambam wrote there.

A person is obligated to be careful regarding orphans and widows, because their souls are lowly and their spirits are humble; even if they are wealthy, even if they are the widow and orphans of a rich man – we are warned regarding them, as it is said: "You shall not afflict any widow or orphan." And one should speak to them only softly, and conduct oneself toward them with honor, and one should not cause pain to their bodies with labor or to their hearts with harsh words, and one should have more pity on their property than on his own property. And anyone who vexes them or angers them, or causes pain to their heart, or rules over them or loses their property – behold, such a person violates a negative commandment, and all the more so one who strikes them or curses them. And regarding this negative commandment, even though one is not lashed for it, behold, its punishment is explicit in the Torah: "And My wrath shall blaze and I will kill you with the sword." A covenant is made with them that whenever they cry out they are answered, as it is said: "I will surely hear his cry." In what case are these words said? When he afflicted them for his own needs. But if he afflicted them in order to teach them Torah or a craft, or to lead them in a straight path – behold, this is permitted. And nevertheless, he should guide them even in this with gentleness and mercy. And it is the same for an orphan from a father, and an orphan from a mother. And until when are they called "orphans" regarding this matter? Until they do not need an adult to lean upon and to care for them, but rather he does all his own needs for himself like all adults (the Rambam ibid.).

The Rambam wrote in the seventh chapter of Deot: One who gossips about his fellow violates a negative commandment, as it is said: "You shall not go as a talebearer among your people." And even though one does not receive lashes for this negative commandment—it is a great sin, and it causes the killing of many souls from Israel. Therefore, it is juxtaposed with "nor shall you stand idly by the blood of your neighbor"—go and learn what happened to Doeg the Edomite. Who is a talebearer? This is one who carries matters, and goes from this one to that one and says, "Thus and so did so-and-so say, thus and so did I hear about so-and-so." Even though he speaks the truth—behold, this destroys the world. And there is a sin much greater than this, and it is included in this negative commandment, and that is "lashon hara," which is one who speaks to the discredit of his fellow even though he speaks the truth. But one who speaks a lie is called "one who spreads a bad name about his fellow." However, a "possessor of lashon hara"—this is one who sits and says, "Thus and so did so-and-so do, and thus and so were his ancestors, and thus and so did I hear about him," and he said matters of discredit—concerning this it says: "May the Lord cut off all flattering lips." Thus far his words. And according to the Rambam, lashon hara is more severe than talebearing, but according to the Ra'avad in the glosses it is the opposite, see there. And in the Yerushalmi we say that it is permitted to speak lashon hara about those who stir up controversy, and it learns this from the incident of Zadok and Bathsheba during the rebellion of Adonijah (Sefer Mitzvot Gadol). And all the more so regarding those who abandon the Torah.

Our sages, of blessed memory, said that lashon hara is equivalent to three sins: idol worship, forbidden sexual relations, and bloodshed (Arachin 15b). And it is as if he denies the Fundamental Principle (ibid.). And lashon hara kills three: the one who says it, the one who receives it, and the one about whom it is said; and the one who receives it more than the one who says it. However, if he sees recognizable matters—it is proper for him to be concerned for this (Hagahot Maimoniyot letter 4, and so it is implied in the Gemara). And there are matters that are the dust of lashon hara, not complete lashon hara. How so? For example, if one says, "Who will tell so-and-so that he should remain as he is now," or if he says, "Be silent regarding so-and-so, for I do not wish to make known what occurred and what happened," and similar to these matters. And anyone who speaks of the goodness of his fellow in the presence of his enemies—this is the dust of lashon hara, for this causes them to speak of his disgrace. And so too one who tells lashon hara by way of jest and lightheadedness, and his intention is not for the essence of lashon hara, regarding this Solomon said: "As a madman who casts firebrands... and says, 'Am I not joking?'"—for ultimately it is lashon hara, and his iniquity is very great. And so too one who tells lashon hara by way of deceit, and as if he tells it innocently as if he does not know; but Hashem examines hearts, and before Him his impure thought is great. (According to the Rashbam, one should not speak of the goodness of his fellow even not in the presence of his enemies, and that is when it is excessive.)

There is no difference regarding lashon hara whether one spoke in his presence or not in his presence; if these matters were heard from person to person to harm his fellow in his body or in his property, and even to merely cause him distress or to frighten him without damage – behold, this is lashon hara. And if these matters were spoken in the presence of three – the matter has already been heard and become known. And if one of the three related the matter another time – it does not involve lashon hara, provided that he does not intend to spread the rumor and reveal it further. And all of these are masters of lashon hara with whom it is forbidden to dwell in their neighborhood, and all the more so to sit with them and to hear their words. And the decree was not sealed against our ancestors in the wilderness except for lashon hara alone. Thus wrote the Rambam there. And that which he wrote, that when it is said in the presence of three there is no longer lashon hara in it – this is in an ordinary case. But when the one speaking in the presence of the three said, "Do not relate these matters that I have said," and one of them related it – it involves lashon hara (Hagahot Maimoniyot). And in the first chapter of Yoma (4b) we say: From where do we know that one who says something to his fellow, it is under "do not say" until he says to him "go and say"? The verse teaches: "from the Tent of Meeting, saying." That is to say: "go and say to them."

It is written: "You shall not take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge against the children of your people." And we have learned that one who takes revenge against his fellow violates a negative commandment, and likewise one who bears a grudge. And even though there are no lashes for this because there is no action involved, nevertheless it is an exceedingly evil trait. Rather, it is proper for a person to be one who overlooks his traits regarding all worldly matters, for all matters of the world to those who understand are vanity and nonsense, and are not worth taking revenge over them. How is revenge defined? His fellow said to him, "Lend me your axe," and he did not lend it; the next day he needed to borrow from his fellow and his fellow said to him, "I am not lending to you just as you did not lend to me" – behold, this person takes revenge, and violates a negative commandment. Rather, he should give to him with a whole heart, and not mention it to him at all. And regarding this David said: "If I have requited my ally with evil...". And what is bearing a grudge? That he lends to him but says to him, "I am not like you who did not want to lend to me, rather I am lending to you" – he also violates a negative commandment for behold he guards the hatred, and from this he could come to revenge. Rather, he should erase the matter from his heart entirely. And the Torah established us upon correct, beautiful, and clear traits, and not to follow after the counsel of the evil inclination which confuses the world. Rather, he should go in the way of the Torah, regarding which it is said: "and all its paths are peace."

There are many character traits, both good and bad, and it is impossible to detail them. One who wishes to walk in the path of the Torah should turn toward the good and not toward the bad, and should forgo his personal inclinations. For anyone who forgoes his personal inclinations—they forgo all his transgressions for him. And regarding those who are insulted but do not insult, about them it is said: "And those who love Him are like the sun going forth in its strength." And when a person asks him for advice—he should give him proper advice, and he should not divert him from the straight path regarding the matter about which he asks him. And about this it is said: "And before a blind person..." And it is brought in the Midrash: If a person does not have a mitzvah established for generations—what benefit does he have?